Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
