i barfeds in our rink
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
