physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize