Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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