I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize