I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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