2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
