We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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