You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You can't special order awesome
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
