I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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