If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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