Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize