I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
