Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
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I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
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Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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