Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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