I wish life had little blips of pornography
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
try to milk me bitch
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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