I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
