You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
