one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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