Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
