there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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