Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
