erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
