literally had 100 drinks last night.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
