Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
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I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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