The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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