My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
