small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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