the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
