Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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