I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
nutella sex= disaster
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
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I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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