I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
