What a fucking waste of an outfit
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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