Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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