My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
