I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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