Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
