It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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