the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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