adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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