Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
