Just cropdusted the office
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
