You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
