I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
