I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
