is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
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I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
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Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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