Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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