All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
