I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
