Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
