She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
