Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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