none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
