who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
