i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
