unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Boobs speak an international language.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
