It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
