I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
