We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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