She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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