508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
