a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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