The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
