Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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